2018 Year in Review

The year is almost over, and it's the time we look back, count out our accomplishments, and make goals for the year ahead.

Some things I did well in 2018: we had a banner year at work, Neil and I had a great year, and my doggos are happy and healthy.

Some things I could have done better: stick to a training plan, meal planning, get up and get at it earlier in the morning.

So, in 2019, I'm looking to do more. More running, more cross training, more yoga. More meal planning.

To be S.M.A.R.T. (haha), I will:

1. Run 100 miles a month
2. Run 3:50 in the marathon
3. Run under 1:45 in the half marathon
4. Do yoga once a week
5. Have fun!

Self Doubt

A few weeks back, I decided that it was time to think about running again. I’ve been off of running, and religiously doing my rehab, spending lots of time at physical therapy appointments, and generally trying to “be good” and not go back to running too soon. Approaching my fifth month of not running, I started to ask if I’d been good for long enough.

With a PT appointment on the books for Wednesday the 12th, I decided that barring an absolute prohibition due to imminent injury, I would start running again next week. Time to be bad, I thought, and run even if the therapist tells me not to.

Well, Wednesday’s appointment came, and I was given the greenlight to run again. Of course, by run I mean run/walk for 10 minutes, then 15, etc, for 6 weeks before thinking about running on its own.

But still, a green light.

What happened next caught me off guard.

I came home Wednesday evening and settled into a funk of massive proportions. I’d run/walked for 10 minutes, and aside from some critical words about my form, it all went well. Why so glum?

Well, now that I’m allowed to run, the universe of obstacles is settling onto my shoulders, ready to thwart any progress I’ve been dreaming about for months. I CAN run, but what if…

It hurts?

I’m bad at it?

I’m slow?

I’ve gained too much weight and can’t lose it?

I get injured again and have to start all over?

I realize that I need to cut this s--- out. Negative self-talk, my old nemesis, has no place in my plans. I need to listen to more Run Selfie Repeat (love that podcast), stick to my new plan, and be excited, not scared, that I can run again. That I get to run again.

Sixteen Miles of Snow!

Mid-run view from the American Tobacco Trail

Durham was the lucky recipient of a ton of snow courtesy of winter storm Jonas this past weekend. Rations were stockpiled, panic ensued, but the weekend long run still had to happen. And happen it did.

Amazingly, we had one of the biggest groups out together from Bean Traders at 10AM on Sunday morning. Some tried to go earlier, but were waylaid by ice and snow. We started picking our way across an icy parking lot close to 10:30, some equipped with traction devices, some trail shoes, and some brave souls with just regular old running shoes.

While some folks broke off from the pack for 5 or so miles, quite a few of us went for a 10 mile roundtrip back to the cars for a water and snack break. I overdressed, had to change my soaking wet shirt and ditch the fleece jacket, and was almost left behind.

In all honestly, I really struggled through this run. I was slipping a bit, and the slushy patches really got me low (literally, because I was sinking). I kept falling behind the group after mile 7 or so, and the last six mile out and back after our break was brutal. My hip was not keen on slush running, let me tell you.

My wonderful friends turned around to make sure I was still there, and waited for me every so often. That helped my spirits a lot. Close to the finish of the 16 miles I realized that, aside from the 2 measly miles I'd done the day before, this was THE FIRST TIME I'D RUN IN SNOW! Sure, I ran while it was snowing in Michigan two years ago, but there wasn't any accumulation. So, big pat on the back for me.

After our run, the most epic Bean Traders gathering ensued at the Big Table. Sunday, plus slow late start run equals beer! I opted out (long drive home, ice, whatnot), but it was fun seeing the group of us, equipped with water, coffee, bagels, and beer, taking off shoes and socks and talking about the beast of a run we just finished.

This is why we run.

Jumping In

It has been a long time, but I am cautiously optimistic that I am ready to jump into a real training schedule. Three years of building up and falling down are behind me, and it is time to put myself to the test.

I didn't necessarily plan on taking a few months off from running, but I ended up taking off the late summer. Travel, my hip feeling worse before it felt better after my PT visits, and general busyness/laziness equaled a lot of sub-10 mile weeks.

After March or so, I didn't run more than 5 miles at a time. After the past few years, I started to doubt whether I'd ever be good at running again. Guys, running is hard. And it seems so much harder when you remember how fun long runs used to be, and how terrible even short ones are now.

The Bull City Race Fest Half Marathon approached, and I made the call to switch down to the 5 miler. I doubted that I could even do that without embarrassing myself. If stopped going to group runs because I felt too slow. Not a real runner, my inner doubter would say.

Well, the Race Fest went well. I held a sub-8:00 pace for the race, without a watch, which was a nice surprise. It wasn't difficult. I was tired later, but the race reinstalled my faith that I am not incapable. Just untrained.

With a few months of PT under my belt, and a pretty solid adherence to my exercise regimen, I decided to start a schedule after I returned from my trip to California. I ran an easy 15-20 mile a week plan on Smart Coach, ending when I am supposed to start training for the Big Sur Marathon in December. With pretty much no base, this will be key to not immediately failing at the first few weeks of marathon training.

I've finished my first week of consistent running, topped off with a well-paced 8 miles alone on Sunday. (I didn't bail!) I have a few weeks to pick a training plan for Big Sur, and then I'll be off on my 18 week journey to my 7th marathon! 

Best Run in Durham: American Tobacco Trail

Credit: Briana Brough, Durham Magazine

A while ago, I dutifully voted in a few local "best of" surveys, which I tend to do every year. Some time later, I received an email about one of my votes, a vote for the American Tobacco trail as the Best Place to Run for the Durham Magazine Best of Durham issue. They'd seen that I kept a running blog and tweeted a lot about running, so they asked me to write about my perfect day on the trail for the upcoming issue. You can read what I wrote here.

Check out Durham Magazine on the web, Twitter, and Instagram!

Race Report: Charleston Half Marathon

As you may remember, I registered for the Charleston Marathon quite some time ago, around the same time I registered for the Raleigh City of Oaks Marathon. Eleven weeks apart was no problem to this non-planning, sometimes injured runner. Well, Raleigh came and went, and I limped away with a sore hip that just won't quit. I decided to step it back and run the half at Charleston, and try not to make things worse.

Switching down to the half allowed me to not feel so bad when my runs around the holidays were less consistent, and when I took a few extra days off after driving 12 hours to/from Michigan (wow, did that make my hip sore!). It also allowed me to not make a real plan, and arrive at the starting line with a vague idea of what I wanted to do that day.

My initial thought was, of course, to run fast. I knew close to my PR (1:39) wasn't happening, but maybe 1:45? Luckily, I thought better of that plan, and settled on something closer to 1:50.

Amy, Lara and I before the race.

Searching the crowd Saturday morning, I found Lara and Amy, ready to run Amy to a new PR. The goal was a few comfortable minutes past my 1:50 idea, so I decided running a 1:55 with friends would be a much more fun time than potentially struggling through a 1:50 alone.

The first few miles of the course were very pretty, along the waterfront and historic section of Charleston. We ran through the shopping district on King Street, where I started in envy at the latte-clutching spectators. Someday, I'd like to have a coffee mug that I can run with.

After maybe mile 6, the course gets not so scenic, which may have contributed to Lara backing off a bit. Amy and I chugged along, hitting or exceeding the pace for a 1:55 finish every mile.

But... we noticed that our miles were not matching up with the course markers... at all. After about mile two, our watched beeped exactly .3 miles before the mile marker was posted. And so did everyone else's. Since I wasn't going for a PR, I didn't think much of it, and chalked it up to someone putting the signs in the wrong place. But the mistakes continued all the way through the finish line, where we hit 13.4. Let's just say Amy was not pleased.

We finished just under 1:55, for an average of around 8:33 per mile for the 13.4 distance. Shiny PR for Amy, frothy beer for Kendra! Lara came in soon after, and we found our guys up to no good cheering us on at the finish.

As for the extra distance, lo and behold, the lead car took us down the wrong street in the first few miles, adding distance. To the race's credit, they are certifying the course we ran and adjusting our times soon. I know Amy will be happy with an even shinier new PR!

We had a great weekend in Charleston, and I had a fun time running a race with friends! Cheers!

Giving Thanks

There is no one I think of more on Thanksgiving than my mother. During my childhood, we usually spent Thanksgivings, just the two of us, watching the parade on TV, cooking a modest Thanksgiving chicken (no need for a full turkey for two), making whipped cream for our pumpkin pie from scratch, and sometimes heading to the movies afterward. On a day when many people are surrounded by dozens of friends and family, we spent a quiet day, just the two of us.

My mom, Charlotte, around the time of the chicken-chasing episode. 

Unfortunately, I also think of her on Thanksgiving because of that terrible Thanksgiving five years ago that we spent in the hospital, hoping her turn for the worse didn't mean what the doctors thought it did, after her recovery and release from the same hospital the day before after an eight week stay. I said goodbye to her in that room as the sun rose the day after Thanksgiving, November 28, 2009.

There are many enduring gifts my mother left me. One of my favorites is the image of her, chasing me around our small apartment pretending the dead chicken we were preparing was alive and flying (gross, but it still makes me smile). More life-changing than that chicken, perhaps, is the way she slyly convinced me to run a marathon, something I thought I'd never do.

A runner before having (non-running related) knee problems, she always encouraged my new-found love of the sport in my early twenties. After she spectated at the California International Marathon in December 2008, she asked if I'd thought of running a marathon. "Gosh, mom, why would I ever want to do that?" When I moved from 5ks and 10ks to the half marathon in March of 2009, she asked again. Again, I said no, and she left it alone. One weekend in October 2009, I ran a half marathon before visiting her in the hospital. Of course, she asked me if I was going to run a full, and of course I said no.

When 2010 came along, I was underwater and couldn't make my way up. In the summer, I realized I needed to find something to help me feel like my life mattered again. When I saw an email advertising a marathon training group, I heard her ask me again if I was going to run a marathon some day. And the rest is history.

Today, I'll give thanks to my mother for the gift of the marathon. Sometimes it makes it very difficult that I think of her when I run, but I'm always glad when I do.

Race Report: Raleigh City of Oaks Marathon

This medal is almost as big as my face!

I came, I saw, I conquered? 

No, that isn't accurate.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times?

No, though more accurate. I think I'll go with a gem from James Joyce:

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

On Sunday, November 2 (two years and eleven days after breaking my leg), I finished the Raleigh City of Oaks Marathon in 3:57:55. This finish was not my goal (meeting my PR of 3:50), but another finish under four hours is always welcomed. Here is how it happened.

I set out in the 42 degree chill at 7AM, planning to run around 8:45 for the first half of the race and speed up later if I could. 8:45 put me exactly on track for a 3:50 finish, and didn't seem too far fetched considering my training. I wish I had my Garmin summary so I could be more accurate, but that was lost in the ether when I tried to upload it.

I ran the first eight miles around 8:25 to 8:30, too fast as always. I felt great. It seemed that there were more downhills than up, or at least the uphills weren't as bad as I'd anticipated. I stuck to my nutrition plan (for maybe the first time ever!), having a Gu or Clif Bloks at two miles, then every five miles after. I drank water, but not too much.

Around miles 9 through 11, I slowed a bit, to 8:45 to 9:00 or so. More hills had appeared. I still felt fine, and felt good about being closer to my goal pace. I continued right around 8:45 through the half marathon point, and reached the 15 mile marker, where Neil was waiting, two minutes ahead of target.

The first half or so of the race snakes through downtown Raleigh, which was very exciting to run through. I especially enjoyed passing all of the historical markers at a pace that allowed me to actually read them for once. After heading out of downtown, the race hits the Greenway, where I knew to expect both beautiful scenery and some killer hills.

Heading out along the Greenway, the course goes past Meredith College toward the North Carolina Museum of Art. I realized early on in this segment that being in downtown had been shielding some not insignificant wind, which was now making the run a bit more challenging. No matter, I felt fine.

Unfortunately for me and my grand plans, just after I hit the 16 mile mark, my right hip started screaming with pain. Right hip? But I thought the left was the injured leg? Well, the series of injuries (both my broken leg and an earlier car accident in June 2012) have caused me to favor my left, putting strain on my right. As a result, my right hip is soooo tight that I can barely sit cross-legged. During mile 16, I thought I'd quit when I got back to the spot I'd seen Neil, which would be mile 20. Through 17 and 18, I thought I might stop at the next aid station and quit there. I was going well past 9:00 per mile, and was crossing my fingers that the pain didn't indicate permanent damage.

Luckily, by mile 19 or so the sharp shooting pain retreated a bit, and I was able to speed up. Still hurting, but much less so. Needless to say, my 3:50 goal had flown the coop.

Coming in to the 20 mile mark.

Seeing Neil at mile 20 was a relief, and helped me slog on back towards downtown along the Greenway. Mile 22 brought the worst hill, but I was expecting it. (Side note: The San Francisco Marathon is way hiller than this race.) We exited the Greenway after Meredith College, and made our way along a short out before turing back and heading into downtown.

The last few miles were tough, but I knew I still had a chance at a sub-4:00 finish. I reeeaallly didn't want to go over 4:00. I'll forgive my terrible first marathon, and even my 4:02 at Rome (due to a packed course that stopped dead several times), but I will not accept another finish over 4:00! My strategy involved math right before every mile marker, subtracting the appropriate number of miles from 26.2 and calculating that, at each mile, I could run as slow as 10:00 miles and still make it.

Make it, I did. I crossed the finish in a bit over 3:58 gun time, and headed over to Neil just past the finish. He helped me grab my sweat check bag, and helped me limp to the food area, where I downed a donut and two pieces of pizza before grabbing my delicious Lonerider Peacemaker Pale Ale.

Almost there!

So, getting back to the quote I began with, what mistakes did I make, and what did I discover? My main mistakes, as always, centered around not doing enough PT, both for my injuries and for preventative maintenance. I didn't really foam roll that much. I taped my leg religiously, but that wasn't enough. If I want to continue to run marathons and not feel like my leg is about to fall off, I need to stick to an aggressive stretching and strength regimen that deals with my hip and joint issues. Lesson learned!

Now, to decide if I have enough time to remedy these issues before my next marathon, which is January 17th!

It is Happening, Again*

Photo credit: http://loudmouthredhead.wordpress.com/

Neil and I went out- in the rain- for an eight mile run this morning at 7AM. You heard it right. This girl, who has felt like a "non-runner" for about a year now, went out, in the rain, earlier than 8AM. 

And I survived.

The rain was medium, and the temperature was a nice 55 degrees or so. We ran alone, having gotten a bit lost on our way to a new meeting spot for our group (we arrived too late to catch the few who showed up). We did take it slow, but got in a nice eight miles a bit over 9:00/mile. Not breaking any records, but building a decent base for the next month of 'training' for the 10 Miler we have coming up.

The reason I'm excited is this: when we finished, and even now a few hours later, I feel like I could go out and run another eight miles. I haven't felt that in a long time. The first few times I did eight, I was tired the rest of the day, or at least sore. Not tired, not sore, just ready to run more.

In fact, I think I'll meet up with the rest of our group tomorrow, who decided to run Sunday to avoid the rain. I almost can't believe it. 

*Not a song title reference as usual, but a nod to Twin Peaks

It's Official!

Photo credit: BikeWalkDurham.org

After almost two months in Durham, I've finally found a group to run with, and signed up for a race! My progress back into running was slowed a bit due to the snow (excuses, excuses), but I'm back into a somewhat-respectable 20 miles a week. Not great, but a good foundation.

Once I ran five to six miles a few times on my own, I figured I'd be able to run with a group without embarrassing myself. I found a few on the interweb, picked one, and got up at the ungodly hour of 7AM to go run this morning.

We started from the Southpoint Crossing end of the American Tobacco Trail, and did eight miles out and back at around 9:00 to 9:30 per mile. There are a few faster runners in the group, which will be good when I'm back up to my usual speed. For now, the pace we ran was fast enough, thank you!

When I got home, cold and sore from my longest run since late October 2012, I immediately signed up for my first race as a Durham resident. I'm doing the Tarheel 10 Miler in Chapel Hill on April 26th. According to a photo on the website (below), Meb has been present for the race! 

Photo credit: Tarheel10Miler.com

I'm very excited to do a ten mile race, and more excited to have a group to run with. I certainly miss my Buffalo Chips, but am glad to have a group to run with!

Changes

A lot has been going on for me in the past few months. While working my way back into running, as I've occasionally posted about here, I was also working my way toward moving to the East Coast. Well... now I'm here!

After our fun Thanksgiving race, getting ready and moving across the country forced me to put running on hold. Saying that feels like a cop out, but it really is difficult to fit a full-time job, time with friends (whom you will soon not see very often), and packing into the schedule. And to be honest, the rest didn't all fit, even when I neglected running. I didn't manage to finish packing before the day I filled my shipping container, and certainly didn't manage to get the number of visits in.

I did pack cold weather gear in the car for our cross-country drive, but running through a foot of snow in Michigan over Christmas just wasn't happening. Snow apparently makes my leg worse, and the conditions were pretty bad a lot of the time. Oh well.

The important thing is the move happened, and now I'm slogging my way back into running. No more excuses, right?

Being in Durham is certainly different. The weather isn't as mild as I'm used to, and it is seriously hilly. Nothing makes me feel more humble than attempting to run longer and faster on hills.

Truthfully, I'm having a bit of a pity party and not feeling "like a runner." Yes, this is silly. No, that doesn't make it any less true. I need to get over it, but it is hard to shake the feeling, especially after more than a year of not really running.

The good news is that I've found several groups to go run with, and a few people that may let me tag along. I just need to get the courage up (read: stop feeling too slow to go running in public) to go out with a group. I know it will make a difference. Joining the Buffalo Chips a few years ago got me to where I was as a runner, and finding a good group here is likely to do the same.

Lots of changes over the past few months, and certainly more to come.  The first big change in February will be getting back into running, for real this time.

And here is a goal to get me motivated: Mountain to Sea Trail 12M

Light at the End of the Tunnel?

I stopped posting here when I stopped feeling like anything I had to say was progress towards running again. While I have veered into non-running topics here, for the most part I like to blog about running, racing, and the accompanying feasting that often takes place. Motivation is hard to find when there seems to be no end in sight to my doctor-ordered rest.

Over the summer, I dutifully attempted to stay off my leg, so that whatever stupid piece of connective tissue that is easy to reinjure could heal. And I just didn't feel like it was healing. When I would walk the slightest distance, it would flare up for days. I don't mind pain, but when my doctor told me it meant I wasn't healed and couldn't run for months, it gets frustrating. 

One of my running friends told me that my doctor, formerly her doctor, had advised her not to run for six months, which she ignored and ran two weeks later after seeing someone else. Maybe my doctor is too conservative. It never seemed right to stay off my leg when it hurt; losing muscle and being inactive don't seem like strategies to get back in the game.

So I sought out a new doctor. 

After seeing the new doctor (still a Kaiser Sports Medicine doctor), I have a new support to wear to take some of the load off my injured leg while I regain strength. I have an appointment with a surgeon in a week to see what options I might have. And I have a few experimental treatments to think about. I feel much better, even if I'm still running. Not having to be afraid of walking to get coffee, or go on a really short hike, is such a nice feeling.

I have a long road ahead, with how long it has been since I was running (almost a year!). I'm unstable, have very little muscle, and am a worryer. But I really want to run. And thats all I need. 

Grumble Grumble

I haven't posted in an embarrassingly long time, because I haven't run in an embarrassingly long time. After starting up a bit more slowly than I liked, I got up to five miles a few times a week. I started feeling sluggish during runs. My injured leg seemed to ache more than it should.

In the meantime, I started a new job, to which I would walk (about a mile). Being a the activity enthusiast that I am, I set up a standing desk. I took the stairs (4 flights) instead of the elevator.

But my leg hurt. So I went to the doctor. At first, she thought I may have rebroken my leg (despite the fact that I was told that was very unlikely). Turns out, I sprained some stupid tiny ligament right above the break site. I must have sprained it when I broke my leg, and reinjured it after ramping up my running. She said my hip muscles weren't strong enough to support the running, and my leg rolled in.

Here I am, five months after breaking my leg, with another month of rest. No running, limited walking, and no climbing (since it aggravated it). I can only ride my bike. Oh joy. Grumble.

I moved to midtown, and I can't walk around and enjoy it! In fact, moving probably set back the healing even more. Grumble.

This June 16th, I won't be running the San Francisco Marathon as I'd planned. That really bummed me out, so much so that I (ironically) haven't really started my PT in a real way. I went to the gym to do weights once, and I lost one of my resistance bands in the move. So basically, I'm slacking on doing the things that will get me running again. Shame on me...

Excuses, Excuses

I've been in a rut. After I progressed my run/walk ratio up to 3/2, progress halted. By 20 minutes in, my leg hurt at the break site. I got discouraged, and figured I'd be better off taking some time to rebuild muscle and stability, then trying to run again.

The reality is that run/walking is not motivating at all, and I felt like a total tool being on the treadmill at the gym. I hit a (small) roadblock, and decided to quit, at least for a bit. It was easy. I rode the recumbent bike a lot over my holiday break. I burned myself out on weights and climbing, and I'm now climbing 11bs!!! I forgot about my rehab. Bad news.

With the second full week of January came the realization that I have to get back to running. I can't just give in to the lack of accomplishment I feel when I run/walk for a half hour. If I want to do long runs, compete in races, and be myself again, I have to do my time in rehab. Period.

Friday I did an easy 30 minutes of 2/3, and today I did my first 3/2 without pain! According to my PT, once I'm past 4/1, I can go straight into running! By the end of the week, if my hectic schedule and motivation don't get the best of me, I could be running for a solid 20 minutes!

A girl can hope...

The End is Near

As 2012 comes to a close and I look back on my year in running, I'm pleasantly surprised. While the past two months have been a huge disappointment, I actually made major strides as a runner this year. 

Thinking about the year, I opened my blog to see what I said at the end of 2011. I started with a list of accomplishments and things I'd wished I'd accomplished. I was happy to see that in 2012, I did all the things I'd wanted to do but hadn't in 2011 (PR the 10k, break 1:40 in the half). 

In 2012, I'm proud to say I:
Ran 2 marathons 
Won 3 age-group awards (5k, 4 mile, 10 mile)
PR'd in every distance!
Got more involved in the Buffalo Chips, both as a runner and volunteer

In January of 2012, I set a few goals for the year:
PR the 10k  (Check)
PR the half, even if by a few seconds (Check)
Run a 3:55 (or-gasp-a 3:50) marathon (Check, and check!!!)
Generally, be more dedicated and run faster (Check)

As much as I like to PR, the final goal of being a better overall runner is what I'm happiest about. Doing long runs- and even marathons- became less taxing this year. I'm now able to keep up with the Chips I run with on long runs, and I PR'd on a very challenging marathon course in San Francisco. Who knows how well I would have done on a flat course?

A few things I wish I'd done this year:

Run 3 marathons

Qualified for the Boston Marathon 

Not taken over 2 months off

It is reassuring, but still frustrating, that the things I didn't accomplish are all due to my broken leg. I took up a new sport (climbing) that I love, and I paid a bit of a price for it this year. Hopefully I'll be back running sooner rather than later. 

Overall, in 2012 I ran 1128 miles (not counting the run/walking I'm doing now), up from 1042 in 2011. And that was my total as of October 22. I'm sure I would have gotten close to 1400 without the broken leg.

Time for a new year and new goals, coming soon to a blog near you!

Running Makes You Smarter

Photo credit: Racingitoff.blogspot.com

We all knew that already, though, didn't we?

An article in the New York Times today (Exercise and the Ever-Smarter Human Brain) discussed studies on the evolution of human physical ability and brain development, and how they are believed to be linked. The researchers posit that the ability to perform endurance athletics such as long-distance running developed alongside advances in mental acuity. In other words, humans evolved to be smarter animals as they evolved the ability to run.

The researchers continue, stating that it stands to reason that exercise has positive effects on mental function, even in immediate, not evolutionary, timeframes. I.E. running makes you smarter.

Don't take my word for it; read the article for yourself here.

Marathon Blues

When I left the CIM finish line at 9:35 this morning, I was excited to get back into running and finish my sixth marathon. I could almost taste it. The rush of watching the finishers momentarily distracted me from the reality of what will come between now and that next finish line. 

Over the following few hours, I hung out with the Chips who ran CIM, from our fastest finisher at 2:44, to the group I train with at 3:38. The limping and vivid race recounting reminded me of my race finishes, and fed my desire to get to the finish line once again. 

As the sun came out over the Capitol, and more Chips migrated over to the tent, something peculiar happened. My longing to get to the finish line gave way to jealousy towards the finishers, for their achievement of running what for most was a good race in horrendous conditions. I stated to think about how I would have been so well trained for this race, and how I would have the badge of honor of a decent finish time despite the conditions. Had I run, I probably would have lamented the conditions for depriving me of the BQ I sought (which I'm assuming I would have missed). Not having run, I lament that I didn't get the experience of running in the downpour and 40 mile per hour gusts that today's race boasted. 

Hearing the race stories, and the talk of next races, I started to lose my earlier excitement thinking of the road ahead of me. Since I started running marathons, I haven't taken much time off after each race. Usually, I have an immediate target, and for most races, it has been less than eighteen weeks after my last race. For the most part, I recover for a week from one race and get right back into training. 

With my current situation, I don't have momentum to start from. I haven't run, or done any cardio at all, for six weeks. My left leg has lost a significant amount of muscle mass, and my right leg probably has lost some as well. I haven't had the opportunity to test this theory, but my balance probably isn't great, I'm probably not too stable, all meaning that my stride probably isn't in too great of shape. 

Unlike previous times when I've started training, I can't 'start out slow' with 30 mile weeks. My doctor specifically told me I can't even start with 15 mile weeks. I have to start run-walking, and gradually build up mileage. My cardio cross training is similarly limited, with rest days built in to make sure I don't develop an overuse injury.

Thinking about all this made me feel pretty down, and really didn't make me too excited to start running (even after the excellent morning rush of the finish line). Run-walking and aiming for a short distance race in a few months aren't things I normally aspire to. I feel like less of a runner, less of an athlete, for having to start from scratch.

At the same time, I feel like a horrible whiner for thinking this way. I've been so good over the past year or so at not being a pessimist, and not worrying about things that don't matter. Obviously, recovery matters, but it isn't something I should let myself get this upset about. People, including my coach (a world class athlete, no less), suffer much worse injuries and much slower recoveries than I'm faced with. I just broke my fibula, which only supports 8% of one's body weight. Sure, my leg muscles atrophied a bit, but my range of motion is mostly intact, and my connective tissues didn't suffer any damage. I really don't have anything to complain about.

The most important thing for me to do is be positive, work as hard as I can without overdoing it, and take solace in the fact that I'm done with my six weeks. Well, I guess I should say I'm done with the first six weeks. I have many weeks ahead.

There's No Place Like Home

If there was any worry that I wouldn't be motivated to run after my extended layoff, the past hour has extinguished that idea completely. I showed up early to the CIM finish line to watch the elites finish before starting my shift at the Chips chow tent. I've never really been a spectator before, so I didn't really know what to expect.

Watching the top men finishers approach the finish, soaked and in obvious pain from the cold, wet conditions, have me the strangest feeling. I got an incredible urge to be soaked, achy, and an hour from finishing marathon number six.

That intense desire is more for the incredible feeling at the finish line. That combination of pain, sweat and accomplishment is unrivaled by anything else. Watching the elites finish CIM with the most agonized race faces on gave me that peculiar, teary-eyed longing for my own finish line.

In a word, I'm an addict. There's no place like a marathon finish line!

Top male (back) and male relay (front) finishers approach the finish line, at 2:13

The End is Near!

As the end of my six week recovery was fast approaching, I was becoming alarmed that my leg still hurt. The worrier that I sometimes am, I started to think maybe I had torn something, or maybe the poor fit of my leg brace was slowing my healing somehow. I took advice from a few knowledgeable folks, and sought a referral to sports medicine, assuming I wouldn't be able to get in until well after my six weeks were over.

Surprisingly, I got an appointment for a this past Monday, after receiving a referral last week to the doctor Julia recommended (her "knee person"). I went in, got new X-Rays, and learned that my bone is healing just fine, and I will be able to go brace-free starting at the six week mark! The doctor confirmed that I didn't tear anything, and I should be able to start weight bearing exercise fairly soon!

Despite my initial excitement, the discussion I had with the doctor about activity was a bit sobering. I have to wait until I'm pain free (and not just for a day) before doing strenuous exercise (like running). I can start on the stationary bike, with 5 minutes at a time, rest a day to see if it hurts after the fact, then incrementally add time. I can go for long walks. I can do yoga, but not anything requiring deep knee bending until I've worked back into it for a while.

When I'm pain free, I can run, but I have to start very slowly. Like run for a minute, walk a minute, and don't progress in mileage too quickly. I'll be lucky if I'm running a mile by the end of the year! The doctor said that I should be fine to tun the San Francisco Marathon in June, and I get the feeling that anything much sooner than that is really out of the question.

I had considered a March marathon, and perhaps the Davis Stampede half in early February as my first race back. I thought February would give me a good amount of time to get my speed back, but now I'm not so sure.

Time will tell how fast I am able to get back into running. I don't want to be too conservative and waste time, but I also don't want to get an overuse injury (ITB, etc.) from trying to come back too fast. I'm already a bit frustrated, but I'll just have to deal.

The good news is, I should be able to get back into climbing almost immediately. I'll wear the brace at first to prevent knee banging, but adjusted so I can bend my leg. Hopefully I can get back on some 11a's by the end of the month, and get back on track to try my hand at lead climbing soon!

All Roads Lead to Rome

The Spirit of the Marathon II, set at this year's Rome Marathon, is in production. I'd be excited to see the film anyway, but I'm extra excited since I ran the race they filmed! Sneak preview below...